In my last newsletter, the use of the word NICE as my acronym for being Needy, Insecure, Cautious, and Exploited triggered some wisdom from readers which is soooo worth sharing!
1) Dr. Clifford Saunders, the brain reprogramming doctor, shared this on LinkedIn:
"I got trapped early in life in the 'nice' model. The "Oh yes, he's so nice" crap.
"So in order to be socially 'nice' I bottled up my natural anger and became an exquisite Passive Hostile. Exquisite."
2) Ruth McMullin said, "This subject hits home. I was brought up to be nice, be good, keep the peace, don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed. This isn't even the way Jesus lived."
Indeed, Jesus did not tip toe around with his words or his actions.
3) A person named Don had this to say:
"I think it starts with the idea of "What we tolerate will continue." Being a kind person is important, but if we are nice to a fault important conversations and boundaries will never be put into place. If someone is anywhere on the spectrum of narcissism or has a perspective of power or status, and acts in ways which are self serving and do not take the considerations of others in mind, and are never called on it, they will never learn. These behaviour patterns are informed by successes and results, if no negative results are given, behaviours will become further entrenched."
I couldn't say any of it any better, and there is a way of being NICE that is grounded in positive power.
From NICE to NICE
This acronym is the antidote to toxic niceness:
kNowledgable
Intelligent (intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)
Compassionate
Enlightened
"